I, as well, employ a pit-bull who will be the most tender animal I’ve ever owned. Quickly, a new dog breed will appear together for the media to blast, as they have carried out rotties and dobies in past many years. Unfortunate that media sensationalism breeds a lot inaccurate data.

It was a very funny poem, but thankfully my dog has learned not to bark so much. As soon as I tell her to stop she will, she is a really good dog.

This is such an excellent product, that it makes me think of the movie “Beaches,” and how sad and beautiful that motion picture really is. Which further inspired me to compose the following jingle for this truly superior collar:

Ohhhh, oh, oh, oh, ohhh.

It must have been warm there in the backyard,

to always have sunlight on your face.

I was content to let you bark, that’s your way.

You always walked a step behind.

So I was the one with all the pockets,

while you were the one with all the treats.

A beautiful mutt without a name for so long.

A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

Did you ever know that you’re too loud, dog?

and I no longer want to hear you holler?

I can spray you right in the face, dog,

for you have the Premier Gentle Spray Anti-Bark Dog Collar.

It might have appeared to go unnoticed,

the present you left me upon the bed.

I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.

And my silence is messing with your head.

Did you ever know that you’re too loud, dog?

and I no longer want to hear you holler?

I can spray you right in the face, dog,

for you have the Premier Gentle Spray Anti-Bark Dog Collar.

Oh, the Premier Gentle Spray Anti-Bark Dog Collar!

You, you, you, you have the Premier Gentle Spray Anti-Bark Dog Collar.

Whine, whine, whine high again,

so high you can almost touch the sky.

Thank you, thank you,

thank God for you, the dog who I will someday name and potentially consider part of our (extended) family.

Rating: 5 / 5